Before I even started this blog I had reservations. Did I really want to put our lives out there in a blog for everyone to see? I thought about my immediate family and about what level of privacy is expected by our household. Will they be "ok" with the things I post about them, or would the mere idea of my random posts cause them to shutter? So....I asked them what they all thought about it. Without hesitation, everyone agreed and I got the "official" go-ahead. I guess I needed their blessings before I started pouring my heart out. I knew deep down in my soul that I wanted to put it out there, but I needed to consider my family first. The reality is that this blog is helping me to get my thoughts and feelings out. Maybe that's selfish. Writing is just so incredibly cathartic. It is for me anyway. Besides, if what I write helps to educate NTs, or helps someone affected by ASDs to feel less alone, then it’s all worth every bit of effort. The reality is that all-in-all, we have nothing to hide. Imperfect or not, our lives are what they are....our lives. A good friend of mine uses the saying, “it is what it is.” That’s so fitting here. This is our normal....normal or not.
So, my hope is that you all find common-ground here, and that you feel a connection to our experience that empowers you to forge on, even on days that you may not want to. We’ve probably all been there at one time or another. I know my husband and I have. It’s just a matter of making things work for your family despite anyone's "well-meaning" input. There isn’t a handbook for this stuff. Our family has been making it up as we go since 'E’s initial diagnosis when he was almost three years old. As a family, we often deal with the glances and the silent judgement (silent if we’re lucky!) regarding E’s behavior when we’re out-and-about. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that. While I realize that a stranger’s opinion doesn’t mean anything in the scheme of things, it’s still hard for me to let it go sometimes. Oftentimes I don’t. It’s my job as his mom to keep him save and sound, no matter what. I have to say that on more than one occasion I’ve resorted to telling someone that he’s Autistic in a not-so-nice tone, and then quickly asked them, “what’s your problem?” That generally shuts them down pretty quick. Maybe next time they’ll think before they’re so quick to pass judgement. That’s the thing with ASD kids, they don’t “look” any different than anyone else. People seem to assume that the child is just out-of-control due to bad parenting or lack of discipline. That’s my take on it anyway.
The reality is that I’m a work-in-progress with all of this stuff. E’s 15 years old now, and I still don’t have it figured out. He’s constantly evolving and changing right before my eyes, requiring me to change-up my responses and behaviors to help him fit into world that I can’t change for him, although I wish that I could. I truly hope that with continued education and advocacy by all of us in the Autism community, the world will accept my son and all he has to offer without criticism or judgement. As E’s mom, I can’t think of a better wish.
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